Insecure Me: That One Thing, Part 1

That One Thing

Everyone has things that they are insecure about.  Some insecurities might upset us more than others but everyone also has that one thing that really bothers them about the way they look.  It might be their weight, their nose, the size of their bust, thighs, arm flab, et cetera.  The list goes on for pages.  For the past twelve years, the one thing that has really made me the most insecure is my smile.  That really hurts, because I am a very happy and smiley person.

My smile before braces

 It started when I was sixteen and I went to the dentist.  I had not been there in a few years (Thanks, Mom and Dad) and the dentist was shocked when he saw two baby teeth still in my X-rays.  He referred me to the orthodontist, who informed me that my adult canine teeth were impacted and I would have to have the baby teeth surgically removed and would need at least two years of braces followed by two years of retainers to correct the problem.  Sadly, my family did not have the money to pay for the braces I needed and I certainly did not want to be walking around for most of high school in braces or retainers.  So I did not get the braces and I spent the next twelve years avoiding the dentist, terrified that they would try to convince me to be an adult with two missing front teeth and braces.  Yet I also spent the next twelve years feeling ashamed and absolutely hating my smile.

Have you ever had an experience where someone pointed out something about you that was flawed that you had never even noticed before?  I had no idea that I did not have a great smile until that day at the orthodontist but ever since that day, it has been my biggest insecurity.  I always notice when someone else has a lovely smile and straight, white teeth and I am so jealous of those people.  Why couldn’t I be one of them?  And then I thought, ‘Maybe I could…’.

Last year, I finally decided that I could not hide from the dentist or the orthodontist anymore and I got up the courage to get the braces that I need.  I was tired of hating my smile and was finally ready to take the plunge to fix it.  After all, two years is pretty short when you are an adult, right?

My smile with two missing teeth

 A month later, I had the surgery to remove the baby canine teeth and bond the impacted adult teeth.  I am currently missing my two front canine teeth and I have never felt worse about the way I look in my entire life.  When you take something about yourself that you are already insecure about and make it even more obvious, it can be rather soul crushing.